A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Steering Wheel Face.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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