What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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DANA

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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Why did Jill come "tumbling" down the hill after Jack broke his crown? She fell running on a hill, essentially why Jack broke his crown.

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The WNBA.

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Women's rights.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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knock knock go away

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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