Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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does this look unsure to you?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops