What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

knock knock who's there? your destiny

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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