What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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