What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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