Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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Why did the janitor commit suicide? He was sick of people's shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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