A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops