- Anti Joke

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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