My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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