What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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