What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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