Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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