Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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