A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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where is the world?

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Knock Knock.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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