Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops