A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

69

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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