roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Ben Corbishley

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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