Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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