How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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Bitch

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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im gay

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What's half of 8? o

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What is cowboy say

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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hi jonny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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