Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops