What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What's up? Your time.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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