Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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