Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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America

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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