1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Ben Corbishley

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops