Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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