How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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