What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Chuck Norris.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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