Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

Hobos are like Obama they want change.

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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