Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

women's rights

What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...