Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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