Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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