A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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tea with milk?

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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