What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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