What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops