Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

NEVER

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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