There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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