What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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If life gives you lemonade.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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1+1=2

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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