Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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