why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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