Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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you see theres this guy.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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