if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Y u do dis?

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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