A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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autistic kids rock

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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