one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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your mom.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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