What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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