Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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