I'm so full I could stop eating.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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womens rights

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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