Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

Who wants water? I do.

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

dyslexic's Untie

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

Velcro. What a rip off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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