Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

I don't get it

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

knock knock Goodbye

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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