whats 1 + 1? 2

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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What's the new green? Green

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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